I couldn’t help but have a little fun with the photos for this weeks lesson. After all talking about the dark side of our personalities requires some comic relief or it could be far too easy to slip into a depressive state, wondering why we have so many flaws an aren’t the super human we wish to be.
The good news is that everyone contain’s “shadow” aspects in their personality. Usually we attempt to hide or change those bad qualities we dislike or are embarrassed about. You know those flaws somewhere along the line we have deemed unacceptable to share with others, yet so often do.
This weeks lesson provides a new way of looking at our flaws. Asking us to instead look for the gift within them.
“For example, the gift of weakness might be that we allow others to support us. Anger may give us the gift of being able to set healthy boundaries or ask for what we need. An upsetting situation or broken relationship could lead us to read a life-changing book.”
So in seeking the good, the coloured rainbow in the shadowy world of “PB’s Personality Flaws”, it quickly became apparent that choosing only two, was the real test to this weeks assignment.
Having decided that no one wants to know the up side of remaining somewhat detached and aloof or the benefits to being commitment shy, I settled upon my most obvious flaws which are on clear display to those who share my life within SecondLife.
OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) can manifest itself in many forms. Having been provided with good knowledge about this disorder at a young age, I have thankfully been able to manage it well and not become a social outcast. It does however creep into my daily life in small ways. I have my little “rituals” but under this rainbow that just means I am predictable. Reliable even.
Knowing that everything has its own spot with a completely logical reason behind THAT spot being selected just makes sense, right? Putting things away in their “correct” spot ALL the time means you rarely lose anything. Unless of course someone else decided to put it away “anywhere”. This is where the hours upon hours I dedicate to inventory cleaning, clearing, putting away stems from. Completely immersing myself in this task allows me time to enjoy my own company. Some might see this as “don’t want to play today behaviour” and question the rational behind logging into SecondLife but it comes down to just being comfortable in our own space and thoughts.
There is a flaw that I openly embrace which I know irritates others, that of being overly critical of myself. Far from a sign of self hate or insecurity, to me it is that facet of my personality responsible for pushing me to take on new challenges and risks. Demanding high standards for my own actions makes me strive that bit further, encouraging me to extend my abilities and ultimately achieve things otherwise thought impossible.
Good luck with exploring your own bright side amongst the shadows.
Make a list of two of your flaws, faults, or shortcomings.
Next to each of the shadow aspects that you identify, write down two gifts you’ve received from this quality, or two ways this quality has served you. If you can’t think of any, ask a friend to share what they see as the gift of that quality.
Look again at your list, acknowledging all the benefits of this shadow aspect, and all the ways you’ve been blessed by these qualities you once judged.
© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford
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