a SECOND for Imagination

PurpleButterfly Lykin

It’s all a journey

2013 09 30 PB Little Boat

Maybe its the way the wind is blowing but the past few days has seen me deep in thought and reflection. I’ve been living one of those times in life where moments continually happen, waiting to be placed in a row so the messages can be acknowledged and read.

The message finally echoing within my head is about change and growth.

From the moment we are born our lives are all about change. For good or bad, nothing stands still, nothing should. We grow through our experiences, we change from that growth. From life experiences we are meant to become better people but do we really? Or do we too often hold onto the bitterness of a bad experience, twisting reality into a version that sits within our personal agenda.

We all view SecondLife and our lives within this virtual world differently. The age old debate for as long as virtual worlds have existed, is it “just a game”, or is it a lifestyle? No answer is completely right, no answer is completely wrong. The answer is written in the grey of every person and why they participate within this realm.

In a world that gives us freedom to set the rules we live by; a world that allows us to fly; where we arrive at venues often as nothing more than a bald head hovering upon sexy heeled feet. Where inventories hold our body parts along side psychedelic orbs and teddy bears, why do we allow judgemental views to foster? How is it that we allow situations to occur that can make another miserable?

My answer upon reflection seems clear. It is our own actions as an individual that puts the spin into SecondLife. We have friends and family circles. We participate in groups and attend venues. What we do, impacts and influences more than just our little lives.

In the past 48 hours three significant moments have impacted and influenced my own personal direction and thought. Encouraging a change of behaviour.

The first in a response I received after reaching out to a stranger with some kind thoughts and words. It surprised me just how much she appreciated the time it took me to pass on my compliments, leaving me thinking about how much we take for granted as residents within SecondLife.

In a world of creativity and expression such as SecondLife, reaching out to someone with kind thoughts and compliments should just be a natural form of appreciation. Rare is it for a creator to receive a message thanking them for making beautiful items, yet we have all seen those complaints in group chat about not getting enough group gifts or abuse if something is faulty when often it is a viewer rezz issue. Those who allow access to their beautifully crafted sim’s often receive little feedback about the enjoyment we have experienced in the surroundings. Rare are the moments when we compliment a stranger regarding their avatar style. Instead hitting “inspect” and TP’ing off to find the outfit that caught our eye.

The second was a situation that upon reflection I was not proud of. A good nine months has passed since a rather bitter war between myself and another. I saw humour within a comment made in main chat and made a joke, which I indeed thought funny. The retort was surprising, highlighting to me how different the vision two people can share regarding the same experience. Having long moved on from all that had happened it never occurred to me that the sting may still be felt by the other party. For me I was having a light-hearted joke, to them I was having a personal attack.

It is one thing to share a giggle, expecting them to laugh along with us, but the words we use should never intentionally cause hurt. Part of being an adult is accepting we are in charge of our actions. It is not about what happens or what someone might have done. It comes down to how we respond to it.

It was a grounding experience to realize that actions which I have never taken seriously just seeing them as games of push and shove which one play online are actually responsible for real bitterness within another. Knowing that an apology would not erase the hurt all I can do is be mindful in the future that as people move on from situations at different speeds the importance is in remaining respectful of any hurt feelings or anger that may still linger for another.

Lastly, I stumbled across a most amazing heartfelt post by a fellow SecondLife player. It was my first visit to their blog and made me sit up and pay attention. In fact it encouraged me to put down these open and candid thoughts for all to read instead of leaving them rattling around my head. I know this post has been long and rambling but I urge you to click the link and read Chapter Three by Lucie Bluebird.

2013 09 30 PB Little Boat 2

I wish that every person who started their journey within SecondLife was forced to read stories like Lucie’s upon signing up so they could understand that SecondLife is different for each of us simply because our real life stories are never the same. We enter SecondLife for many a varied reason and as a community we should embrace those rather than sit with judgment.

Maybe with more open posts mixing amongst the fashion feeds we can all hope for a SecondLife where negativity and nastiness is left at the log in screen and we genuinely put the best of ourselves forward to the world to see.


* Edited 14th October to include credits

Hair: Truth – Miranda – Black Espresso
Dress: Glitterati – Tiana nude
Shoes: P10 Gemini Heels Leather Cream
Necklace: [Atooly] Fall Necklace – The Autumn Effect Hunt
Bracelet: :+*R*+: Turandot Bracelet Pomegranate [L]
Ring: EarthStones Hera Diamond Cocktail Ring – Spice

5 comments on “It’s all a journey

  1. luciebluebird
    October 2, 2013

    Aww thank you so much for mentioning me, and it means a lot to know it made you feel so reflective. I really enjoyed your post, too.

    • purplebutterflylykin
      October 2, 2013

      Your welcome Lucie. Thank you for visiting and looking forward to keeping up with your blog, was such a wonderful surprise to stumble upon.

  2. Becky
    October 2, 2013

    Just wanted to jot a few words down to let you know that I enjoyed getting a glimpse into your mind, and it helped me remember some of the good conversations we’ve had about blogging in the past. (Your posts have a tendency make me puke my thoughts out as comments – and I mean that in a good way!)

    I’m picking up on probably a small tangent that your post sparked in me, but it’s something I feel passionate about: I agree that bringing more of our feelings and ideas into the world (including both SL and the SL blogosphere) is a good thing – it rounds out and deepens the “you” in you, for those who might be interested – and I am!

    While I don’t mind seeing fashion or tourism tips (I definitely get a lot of them and really appreciate the effort that goes into those pics and the time invested in scouting locations), I do get a bit bored when I can’t emphasise or identify with the person behind the avatar, or the blogger. If a blogger writes superficially about what they like, and gives me no indication about who they are or what they really believe, then I tend to lost interest and move on. Maybe I’m judging here, but a little judgement can be a healthy thing.

    Surely, we are more than just a bundle of preferences and tips? Surely we have more to say, more to ask, and more to contribute? A similar thing happens in world too…

    I have many people visiting my sim on a daily basis. 99% of the time, if they’re in local range, I’ll welcome them by saying hello. Sometimes I’ll even hop over to the landing point to greet them (I always give them a little time to soak things up before ambushing them :). Some of the time they say hi back, but most often, they ignore local and just do their thing and TP away without a word. So, how do I respond to that? Can you imagine visiting my home and not even saying hello? Some will say I expect to much: that people are busy, or focused on their own activities, and aren’t necessarily interested in meeting others. Ok, so I suppose I need to respond by just letting people be. Still, I find it sad that we just pass each other on the streets like empty shells, without pausing for a moment and letting just a little of ourselves leak out in the form of greetings, compliments, and questions about what might interest us.

    Every friendship I’ve made, most of the insights I’ve had, and nearly every genuine smile and laugh that I’ve had in world, can be originally traced to a kind word of greeting between another person and myself. There is so much richness and opportunity right in front of our noses, if we’d just reach out and grab it.

    • purplebutterflylykin
      October 2, 2013

      Hugs Becky. I love when I’ve been able to be part of that spark that makes your thoughts appear as comments upon my pages.

      As for the situation with visitors I am forming a conclusion that because so few people talk randomly these days within SL, when someone says hello people wonder “why”, think maybe they shouldn’t be there and poof.

      I had a nice experience the other day when visiting a homestead sim which was open to the public. The sim was empty and I enjoyed exploring the sim for about two hours before leaving. The next day I logged into a warm message from one of the owners hoping that I’d enjoyed my time and inviting me to visit again soon.

      From that simple reach out a nice conversation followed and a new friend was met. All from saying “hello”.

  3. spunknbrains
    October 2, 2013

    Great write up sis. I read the same story you referenced when it was first published and felt an overwhelming sense of greater understanding about the real motives of why some of us are here. It took me back to the time when I really had no real concept of what Second Life was to people until I saw a video on Login2Life and that too impacted me tremendously.

    Even though we often have these insightful in depth conversations in-world it’s always nice to see you express it in writing.

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This entry was posted on October 2, 2013 by in Idle Thoughts.

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PurpleButterfly Lykin

PurpleButterfly Lykin

Just a virtual girl living in the virtual world SecondLife.

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