Given the way I live my second life to implement this lesson proved impossible. Aside from sleep deprivation and budget deficiencies I have always been very aware that any online activity should have a positive impact upon my life. Thus my second life was designed to ensure that within reason I can do what I want, when I want and how I want without being answerable to anyone but myself.
Often in an attempt to not cause friction or disappointment we let others influence our decisions or sway our judgement. We should always be aware that by remaining silent and ignoring our needs we leave ourselves in a position to be taken advantage of, resulting in hurt, disappointment and disillusionment.
Being an outspoken personality I am hardly known as someone who remains silent regarding their views and opinions. However there are many situations when I CHOOSE to remain silent.
I am a believer that when participating in life online, an “ease of situation” view should be adopted. Given we log into SecondLife for enjoyment not angst and anxiety I rarely see the value in fighting online. Within any relationship, friendship or group, it is always personal expectations which turn trivial matters into issues. Most things upon reflection, should and can fall into the “not bothered by” category.
Thankfully I have an innate ability to separate, meaning SecondLife “noise” (otherwise known as drama) rarely impacts upon my real life thoughts or ego.
With tens of thousands of people online I put zero effort into fighting to correct others view of me, especially when formed upon hearsay. People like us or loath us depending on their own perceptions. I would rather invest my time and effort into those that value my friendship and remain silent to those that whine about me.
By involving myself within a family structure in SecondLife I accept there is a level of “give and take” in that relationship. Just like real life with the ebb and flow of moods and selfishness, to ensure harmony there is sometimes a need to remain silent.
Yes, we all have those cranky bad days.
For me being silent isn’t about handing over power it is about recognizing what the big issues are and not wasting time with the insignificant things. By keeping in focus my reasons for being online, knowing what to value and what to forget becomes easy.
Your Self-Love Assignment
Make a list of all the situations, circumstances, or relationships where you don’t feel powerful. Where are you not standing up for yourself? How have you ignored your inner voice? In what relationships have you made pleasing others more important than speaking your truth?
As you reflect on each one ask yourself, “What do I need to do in this situation to reclaim my power?” Do you need to write a letter, make a request, or set a boundary? Write down whatever you hear.
Finally, choose at least one person or circumstance, and commit to taking the action that will give you back your power.
© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford