Lesson 23 – Forgive Yourself
All MISTAKES are LESSONS to be learned and CHALLENGES to be overcome.
And they come in the form of OBJECTS, EVENTS and PEOPLE
Forgiveness is something we eventually come to terms with when someone has wronged us. Sometimes it can take time to reach that point where we realise that to move on and finally push the pain away, we have to forgive the person who delivered that damaging blow.
The final act of liberation from being trapped in the past is when we choose to forgive ourselves for the mistakes me made. Yet having the ability to push away the mistakes from our thoughts, so we can stride forward into our future seems an endless battle we all fight. Often we dissect every particle of the situation, shining a spotlight brighter than any found in Hollywood upon our failings. Re-running the incident over and over and over again in our mind.
The past twelve months has seen me constantly struggling with this burden. Time the great eraser of life has made the pain a distant memory. Swallowing the pride pill and accepting I made a mistake was relatively easy compared to this final act of giving myself that “get out of jail” card of forgiveness.
“Ok you stuffed up. Learn from it and DON’T do it again.” These are the comforting words of wisdom we would share with our friends as we hugged them tight and got them back on their feet. Words full of warmth and compassion.
Hounded by guilt and filled with doubt, my self lectures have been filled with negativity and accusations.
“How could you have been so blind. You should have known….”
“What did you expect, you didn’t stick to your rules … “
“Your intelligent, HOW could you have been so stupid …. “
It is not finding the courage to forgive myself that I’m lacking, it’s the belief that I deserve it.
I let myself down.
I’m not naive in knowing the impact dragging this guilt baggage around has had not on just myself but those around me. I share in the frustration and pain when suddenly I withdraw into myself.
I may not yet have found the key to forgiveness but I refuse to give in. I am committed to fighting for that day when the door finally opens and my mind sets me free. Till then I continue living my life wiser for the experience and praying those who love me continue to understand and don’t give up on me just yet.
The whole lesson can be found here as usual on Alexa Maravilla’s blog
Your Self-Love Assignment
This week, make a list of all the behaviors and incidents for which you want to be forgiven. After writing down your list, say a prayer asking for the compassion to forgive yourself. Then put your list in a sealed envelope next to a seven-day candle (which you can get at most gift stores).
Light this candle and let it burn an hour a day. As it burns, think about why you’re worthy of your own forgiveness.
© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford
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