When we are children and hurt another, be it accidental or intentional, we are taught to apologise.
“I’m sorry”… two little words that soften and begin to repair the harm done. Far too often adults forget the magic held within these words. As we engaged in the too-and-fro of an argument, positions are set, based mostly on principal and we find ourselves doing everything to defend our decisions, even when we know they are wrong.
My grandfather the wise old owl of my life, was a gentle soul admired by many. Every Sunday afternoon you would find the two of us curled up on the back step with a piece of grandma’s love, otherwise known as freshly baked cake. He with a cup of tea, deep in conversation would impart life lessons into my young head.
* Treat people kindly even if they do not do the same to you.
* Respecting yourself is more important than participating in gossip.
* Be brave enough to apologise when faced with loosing a friend.
* Choose the battles you fight wisely for scars are left behind every time.
* Do not speak in judgement unless you have walked the same path.
* Time is precious, don’t waste it on arguments for few are relevant in five years time.
These words particularly come flooding back when I haven’t lived by the standards he encouraged. A strong will and opinionated nature means there are times I stand in confrontation with another. Although I attempt to find acceptance for others view, I am not a saint and the forked tongue has had a tendency in the past to lash out when faced with what I feel is stupidity, bullying or arrogance.
When personalities clash and cultures collide SecondLife does have an undercurrent of drama and angst. The human side of our pixel form, entwine with our emotions creating a hot-house situation at times. Conflict arises with most arguments easily sorted when tempers have cooled. On the odd occasion these grow into long-standing wars, with “your friends” against “their friends”. Each side believing they are right in defending their principles after being wronged. The reasons “why” are lost as the fight becomes about who takes the winning crown.
Aside from the chaos and noise, the energy and time invested into petty drama, the aftermath comes at a cost. At some point you have to ask yourself what is more important; being the one who stands battered and burdened with blame yet believing to have won. Or being the one who made peace with their actions, let go of the situation and moved forward into happiness.
This weeks lesson speaks of taking responsibility for the role we play in these negative situations. For me this process started many months ago when I realize to finally find peace of heart there comes a point where you must draw a line in the sand.
Although willing to have made that stand in the final months of 2012, I acknowledge the words spoken did not need to be as bitter and nasty as they got. Enough time has passed that the aftermath and overshadow certainly has no place in these last days of 2013.
My hope is that with 2014 nearly upon us, others involved in that particularly nasty conflict also realize it is indeed time to finally let go and really move on.
Your Self-Love Assignment
Allow yourself to see one thing you’ve been fighting to be right about. Are you holding a position with someone that’s causing you stress or aggravation? Have you been blaming someone else for your current state of affairs?
Your assignment this week is to make the powerful choice to take responsibility for the role you played in the creation of this situation. Even if you feel you can justify your position, notice how much more freedom, peace, and contentment you have when you let it go.