Suffering heat wave conditions for the past four days for the third time in a month, it seemed only natural with temperatures of 40 degrees celsius (104 Fahrenheit) to head to the beach to write this weeks lesson.
I really love the dreamy effect that teaming together the youthful Angie shape from Styleish Shapes and the soft alluring Sage skin by Deluxe Body Factory achieved. A touch of class was added with the eye-catching necklace created by Designs by Sebastian. All these items are offered in the current round of The Kollective, which started on January 29th and runs till 26th February.
Onto the lesson… this week certainly nailed how I’ve been feeling regarding certain aspects of my SecondLife. Having always believed it is how we deal with a situation that is important. I found it interesting to read that it is never the event that causes us pain but more how when we twist it to make it a reflection of ourselves that the harm is done. This interpretation has a direct influence, either negative or positive, on the way we feel about ourselves.
Having grappled for a few months with an incident, understanding this concept was the much-needed lightbulb moment of sense and reasoning.
When someone in my inner circle offends me rarely do I say something preferring to let things slide unless it is something undeniably confrontational which of course then demands attention. By seeking to find an excuse for why a person might behave in such a manner usually I am able to not take things too personally.
Of course, if feelings have been hurt there are times when rational reasoning simply doesn’t work. Instead actions are viewed as personal attacks.
Without going into details, my situation it is a clear example of the “me” interpretation this lesson speaks of and the preceding influence on feelings. When a friend changed their SecondLife suddenly with little explanation (the event), I took the view that the person obviously had taken issue with me and given the lack of consultation on their motives, no longer valued the depth of our friendship. (the interpretation).
If I had chosen a more positive interpretation of this situation such as, “they” just needed a change, instead of making it about “me”, the proceeding feelings of hurt and disappointment would have been avoided.
From now on this way of thinking is going to become my number one rule on “”How not to complicate life”.
Your Self-Love Assignment
Think of one situation or circumstance from your past that you’ve deemed painful, embarrassing, or hurtful. Notice how you interpreted this event by examining what you made it mean about you.
Now invent three positive interpretations of this occurrence that would leave you feeling powerful and strong, rather than weak and victimized. Pick the interpretation that makes you feel the best about yourself – the one that most nurtures your soul and feeds your self-love.
© The Best Year of Your Life by Debbie Ford