a SECOND for Imagination

PurpleButterfly Lykin

The Silver Lining

“Knowing what to do, how to do it

and why you must do it;

does not mean you actually can or will do it.”

~PB Lykin

2014 06 05 The Silver Lining

After reading that sentence I am left wondering if maybe I have enjoyed one too many espresso’s today or if I actually require a strong shot of alcohol in the next cup. However if you say the words slowly, it will make sense I promise.

Being in control of choosing to make changes or even having time to adjust and prepare to the idea that change is about to occur, does not necessarily mean it will be any easier or less painful than when external forces thrust change upon you. Whether it be behavioral changes such as changing ones diet for healthier living, to the more emotionally painful change of adjusting to life without someone we care about, change IS difficult.

A strong core of procrastination encourages me to be a creature of familiarity and comfort. I dislike change intensely with the slightest tweak in my surrounds sending me diving under the bed quilt looking for cookie crumbs. Or when put into Second Life terms, hiding away from the world with the accepted practice of; inventory organisation. After all I can easily explain it as needing order to reduce OCD anxiety.

Living in a fluid virtual world like Second Life means the need to rebuild a lifestyle is a situation we are faced with from time to time. For a multitude of reasons and far too many to list on this blog, people and places constantly disappear from the grid. How we handle these goodbye’s is a deeply personal journey. Some find relief and relish in the opportunity to let go and explore new directions. While others need time to adjust to and accept their new circumstances.

Suddenly everyone, although not asked, wants to role-play surrogate counselor. Hammering a make-believe certificate to a wall their every opinion must be heard. Rarely asking questions as facts just complicate matters, advice based on wrong assumptions is dispensed in overload.

Finally there comes a time when we peek out, contemplating the pros and con’s of engaging once more with the world.  Confusion and fear common feelings when we first begin to seek out new people and places to enjoy. There will be slip ups. The strong cocktail of raw emotions you sip from leaves you fighting back tears at random comments that wouldn’t have  usually cause more than an eye roll. This is about the time you realize a vast amount of Second Life residents are tools. (I could have gone stronger here but I like to leave the use of *^!* icons  for other times.)

2014 06 05 The Silver Lining close up So having lived this experience the past few months, what advice can I share?

  • 1. Reward yourself for every single one of those baby steps. Talk it up in your own mind. YAY you made it out of that beautifully decorated house today. AWESOME you spoke to some new people. FANTASTIC you resisted the urge to hide in inventory, you’re going well superstar, keep it up!
  • 2. If you aren’t enjoying yourself, log out and go enjoy some activity in real life. A pair of scissors and a love affair with glitter glue helped return the sparkle to my life. Return when you can once more smile at your virtual existence and the antics of others.
  • 3. After an initial pity party quit feeling guilty about the what could have been done; didn’t get done and finally what was done. If less desirable aspects of your personality have been highlighted, take that on-board for future self-improvement but do not let regret and guilt hold you back. There is a fair amount of truth in that old saying “love yourself and others will love you too”.
  • 4. Give the negativity of others, ZERO tolerance. There are those in Second Life who thrive on creating drama from the misfortune of others. Always try to remember what are your issues, and what issues belong to others. Don’t pay the emotional toll for anything you don’t own. Close down conversations which are not positive and if need be cuddle that mute button tight.

and lastly .. the biggie in my books.

  • 5. Respect yourself. It is wonderful to have supportive friends but decisions need to be our own. You, not them, will live with the consequences.  Move at your own pace, even if it means the snail win’s the race. Do things only when you are ready and if visiting a certain well-known established ballroom (you all know the name) before you arrive, superglue those pixel panties on real tight!

Seriously, you will know when the time is right and eventually find that the memories you hold are the silver lining inside the cloud and the sun will shine on new beginnings.

So, after slipping some sweet comfort into that last coffee, does anyone have some suggestions where a single gal goes these days to enjoy music, dance and intelligent chat?  I know .. I’m asking for a lot .. maybe I should just advertise for a dance partner…. Hugs PB x


20 comments on “The Silver Lining

  1. Slynny (or Anee)
    June 5, 2014

    Beautifully written, sis. You can always find intelligent chat in my box….although I’m not sure most of our conversations can be called “intelligent”.

    • purplebutterflylykin
      June 6, 2014

      Chuckles .. I would say the overall average for the standards of our conversations IS highly intelligent if attending the local village idiot convention. Aside from that, we need some serious therapy and to graduate from pre-school LOL.

  2. Cougar Sangria
    June 5, 2014

    Key West is a great venue for live music, Muddy’s for rock, pop, and everything in between (I have gone here and just sat and listen to music and watched all the gesturebating in local) and then proceeded to work on inventory (old habits die hard lol). Black Horse for country music. Lots of gesturebating there as well though. I even get dressed up to the nines and head to franks and sit and listen to the music. When I encounter intelligent conversation I will let you know ♥ hugs

    • purplebutterflylykin
      June 6, 2014

      Thank you so much Cougar for taking the time to give me some venues. I do pop into Black Horse Country occasionally because being a country gal I love country music! The gesture-bating drives me insane in most places and usually has me scurrying back home to my own radio stream and screen peace and quiet. Of course defeating the purpose of actually making new friends.

      My kittycats get annoyed with me when I change their names just so I can pretend they are something new hahaha.

  3. Cougar Sangria
    June 5, 2014

    You know that is not a bad idea…advertise for a dance partner…..:)

    • purplebutterflylykin
      June 5, 2014

      Laughs. .. only problem I have with that Cougar is I don’t think many men read my blog! So it would end up being like I was putting a man wanted advertisement in a lesbian bathroom!

    • purplebutterflylykin
      June 6, 2014

      giggles … you know .. the tactic appears to have worked!! And best news, he’s not a lesbian ROFLOL.

      Hugss and thank you for your smiles Cougar.

  4. virtualgent
    June 6, 2014

    Witty pros with sentiment at its core. Ps. I’m a male and I read your blog! It’s a pleasure too!

    • Slynny (or Anee)
      June 6, 2014

      Soooo virtualgent, by declaring your male-ness, are you essentially extending a dance invitation to my sis?

      • virtualgent
        June 6, 2014

        Well if Gene Kelly came as a pixel he’d probably be me? Haha.

    • Slynny (or Anee)
      June 6, 2014

      Well now, “Gene”, are you looking for a Rita Hayworth? Because while my sis looks stunning in formal wear, I think she steps on toes.

    • purplebutterflylykin
      June 6, 2014

      You are such a talented writer yourself VG so seeing your name pop up as a reader and one who has enjoyed my words makes me smile.

      As for being a male, I am not sure if I should go YAY and place you on the potential dance list. OR be polite and thank you for pointing that out to assist in my accurate collection of statistical data for this site.

      I will await an IM at some time in the future for further guidance.
      (Smiles and has a private laugh.)

  5. Trav Neox
    June 6, 2014

    hummm I read your blog religiously and giggle my way through them all, and oh by the way, I am a guy. 😉 Most times it seems like PB is writing me a personal note to describe the dilemma I seem to be in. This article is no exception. I am not so sure I would call it a silver lining. My situation would be more like the rust bucket. As always sweet PB, love each and every one of your blogs. Such a joy to be included.

    • purplebutterflylykin
      June 7, 2014

      Your male-ness certainly should never be in dispute Trav. I’m still having nightmares from a Halloween party a few years back, of a certain purple witch who had EXTREMELY hairy legs and chest.

      As you point out sometimes it is extremely hard to find the silver lining. In situations like that I try to find the positive link to the event. So for example,if we take the shared bad experience which happened, my silver lining from that is the wonderfully deep and honest friendships I made with you and a few others. Without that nastiness maybe we wouldn’t all cherish each other so much today?

      As for being included .. you may not be around in SL but your still my SL daddy, soooo that means your stuck with me forever !!!!

      Besides .. I bought a GPS and can track you down anywhere now LOL

  6. Bumblebee
    June 7, 2014

    agrees that glitter glue and scissors brighten up a day. well written and hit a couple of relevant points in my own life at the moment, really needed this today.

    • purplebutterflylykin
      June 7, 2014

      Huggsss Bumblebee. So glad that the words spoke to you when you needed them most.

      I find it just helps sometimes knowing that others are out there, going through the same things and can relate to the emotions.

      As for glitter glue .. I think it should be a rule of life that EVERYONE have at least six colours, even if just to stare at. (Note: My glittler glue tote does hold 64 bottles.. addiction maybe?)

  7. Pingback: Aloha Friday Stylin’ 6/6 | A Cozey Second Life

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PurpleButterfly Lykin

PurpleButterfly Lykin

Just a virtual girl living in the virtual world SecondLife.

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