To watch the clouds float lazily by as the wind gently caresses my face is a fantasy only Second Life can fulfill. Although the mind has wonderful dreams of experiencing the freedom of a hot air balloon ride; a totally irrational fear of heights means my feet will forever stay on ground level. That rock solid, dependable ground level which brings me such comfort.
Whether exploring taboo’s, fantasies or simply doing those things which are not within our grasp in real life, I have always believed Second Life is a place to experience and enjoy. How then has it become that the uninspiring words of predictable; sheltered and boring describe my current existence?
Surely these words cannot be an accurate description for the intelligent, outgoing, caring woman I am?
The answer lies in always playing it safe.
Having set necessary boundaries to protect my heart from the hurt that Second Life seems to regularly bring, the tight rein upon my emotions has in effect stifled my life. Finding refuge in the repetitive forms of shopping, blogging and decorating has ensured my activities are all well within the emotional safe zone.
From childhood we are taught that by staying safely out of dangers way we are protected from harm and won’t get hurt. Yet never does anyone mention that by keeping ourselves locked away behind self imposed guarded walls, we hurt ourselves.
By not taking the risk of letting people get close we cease to be living. Instead becoming stagnant figments of ourselves; missing the very opportunities and experiences which bring us enjoyment and life.
After what seems like an eternity of waiting the ice around my heart has finally thawed. Those niggling reminders of the past finally let go. Instead of feeling vulnerable I know I have the strength to stand strong and believe in my own self-worth. Gone are the days of being too scared to feel. This heart of mine, once more beats full of love and is willing to share.
Having escaped the “safe zone” I am no longer content to watch life pass me by. Instead wanting to reach out and grab those special moments.
I am ready to take that risk and finally start living again.