I want to be wherever you are
And we’re sitting in that room
And you spoke in Japanese
Singing words, “I’ll come home soon”
Want to please you
You want to please me
Don’t take my word for it
Just look at me to know that I love you
Don’t take my word for it
Just look at me to know that I do
Just look at me to know that it’s true
There you go
I won’t see you for a month of shows
~ Wherever You Are : Angus & Julia Stone
I wasn’t really sure what I was going to write about this week and then a few days ago, a dear friend Cougar Sangria, wrote a post (here) with a great quote, touching on the impact time difference have on a SecondLife relationship. I sighed heavily as she spoke about those treasured “five minutes” which are snatched from life and weaved together into the fabric of memories shared between lovers.
Occasionally I’ve mentioned the distance Mr. P. and I battle. Two continents literally a world apart from one another. As he heads to bed, my eyelids flicker to the morning light. It is a fact of life that because of busy life demands we often go weeks without spending any time together. This past month saw us reach 24 days between laying eyes on each others pixels! Yes it has been one of the worse months and also whilst I had downtime from study so I’m sure you have heard my grrrrr’ing across grid.
Over the years we have managed this situation in many different ways, often badly I will admit. So what are some of the tricks which keep us strong.
Fundamentally it lies in the love and respect we share for one another. I’ll openly put on the record that to survive such huge distance apart you must have 150% trust in one another. It also is helpful if you are not prone to insecurity or panic attacks, love like this is not for the faint hearted. I am not naive to say that temptation from others doesn’t happen. It does! How you handle this comes down to the individuals involved.
These days having taken the very long and rocky uphill journey, thankfully there is zero temptation of others. We have each been down that road before and know with complete and utter certainty that no one else comes anywhere near to satisfying the needs and wants we both desire. Obviously this glaring admission didn’t just pop out of thin air one day, it came from heartbreak, tears and time spent apart. Reconciliation was only able to happen because of the maturity of a long-established love affair where open communication has always been key to our friendship.
There are however little things that can make the sun shine on those long days apart. We often take them for granted but there is a real gift in those offline sentences. Keep them positive, fun and lighthearted. Don’t constantly talk about missing them, because lets face it, last thing anyone needs is a guilt trip when their arse has been to the grind with real life obligations.
Photographs are another great little lift me up and one which I use ALL the time. Maybe you want to just gaze longingly at your lover’s collection and close your eyes remembering the connection. In that case make sure you create a photo of even the simplest moments that you are together so you have something to
drool over admire. Just remember it will be hard to come up with a credible reason why you are licking the screen. Another way to ensure you are on your weary lovers mind when the days slip into weeks, is to snap a photo of you just for them. Create an interesting and yes intriguing title and drop it into inventory to be discovered.
Goes without saying, having a life outside of your lovers arms is just as important as enjoying your time as a couple. So lean on your friends especially on those longer days.
Knowing exactly what your personal needs are is essential to any functional relationship in either realm. If you find yourself increasingly lonely and sad or experience awkward moments when you reunite, especially those that don’t subside, then maybe it is time to reassess the situation.
In the end, it will always come down to the level of contentment and happiness you feel with the life you have chosen to live. Given the worldwide spread of SecondLife residents I am sure everyone has some hints and tips, so drop your comments below and lets share the love around Second Life.
Till next time,
Hugs PB xx
Listen to the pretty tune :